“Tear off your masks. The church was never meant to be a masquerade!” – Charles Spurgeon
100 years ago. 10 years ago. And, today. People struggle with being honest about who we are, what we feel, and what we’ve done with other people. It is simply who we are.
Sometimes we struggle to be vulnerable because we may feel ashamed of what we have done or the situation we find ourselves in. I know of one family who needed food, but would first drive by the food pantry to see if anyone they knew was volunteering. If they knew people, they would go back home hungry. It was simply too hard to admit to others their need. And we keep on the mask.
Other times, we keep on the mask because we don’t trust the people we are with to treat our true selves carefully. We worry what we share will later be used against us or spread widely among our friends. And we keep on the mask.
Sometimes, we are afraid that if people really knew us, the real us: the scared us, the angry us, the doubting us, they won’t like us anymore. We will be rejected. And we keep on the mask.
We can’t ever be known unless we dare take off the mask. And we long to be known.
But there are also people who use our longing to be known to manipulate and control. They use what Chuck DeGroat calls fauxnerability. A fake vulnerability. They speak in vague terms of their sinfulness or some sin in the distant past, but they refuse to acknowledge their present struggles or the way they can hurt and impact other people today. They share in order to manipulate and control a group or person, rather than to be known or to know. Chuck shares some of the differences between genuine vulnerability and this fauxnerability in a recent post that follows:
- Vulnerability offers specific and sometimes painful parts of oneself in service of connection and empathy. Fauxnerability offers general offerings (“I’m a sinner” or “My heart is an idol factory”) in service of maintaining an image of one who is safe and honest.
- Vulnerability responds to another’s pushback with curiosity and compassion. Fauxnerability responds with defensiveness and reactivity.
- Vulnerability speaks in present terms (“I am so scared because I self-harmed again this morning, and I feel the temptation again now”) while fauxnerability speaks in general or past terms (“I battled porn back in the day.”)
- Vulnerability is other-centered, focused on empathic connection to another. Fauxnerability does not breed connection, but actually distances oneself from another, as you may feel like you’ll never be as honest as they are.
- Both vulnerability and fauxnerability may come with tears or a palpable sense that the other is in pain, but those who are fauxnerable have an uncanny capacity to stage their emotions.
- Those who are vulnerable risk an encounter with shame for the sake of belonging and connection, but those who are fauxnerable are shameless, deeply self-protected and incapable of letting another behind the curtain.
- Vulnerable people share wisely and discretely, often with close, trusted friends. Fauxnerable people over-share, offering too much too soon, in a way that demands that you to be their confessor in a manipulative tactic of engendering your sympathy or inviting you to take their side.
- Vulnerable people don’t take up space but create it through their way of being in the world. Fauxnerable people tend to be self-referential, self-congratulatory, and take up too much space.
We strive to be a place where we can all be known. Taking off the mask is hard and often scary work. The next time you are in a group discussion, a small group, a prayer meeting, check yourself to see if you are being vulnerable or wearing a mask, are you being genuine or faking vulnerability? Are you creating deeper connections or simply wearing another mask?
You can check out Chuck’s entire article here.
Connect to God
After God rescues the Israelites from their captivity in Egypt, he brings them to Mt. Sinai where he gives them the law, which includes the 10 Commandments. These commandments are not guidelines for all humanity, but a call from God to live as a counter-cultural community. They produce a people who in our daily live as a sign, a signal, and a witness that God has not left the world to its own devices. Instead, God has come to rescue, save, and restore all that has been broken and marred by sin. This third week of our series, we consider the command of God to honor his name.
If you would like a copy of the worship service, you can receive a complete copy by contacting Tom Verbrugge or you can find the weekly messages on our website.
Grow in Community
Larry Westra underwent back surgery today at Metro Hospital to repair deterioration from a surgery he had 46 years ago. Pray for peace and comfort for Larry and Marge and for a quick and complete recovery.
Teresa Beute was hospitalized yesterday with some chest discomfort. She is undergoing tests today and hopes to have a plan to address the issue with her heart soon. Please pray for patience and strength for both Rog and Teresa.
Serve the World
City Chapel will officially launch with weekly worship on October 7! They are hoping to “pack the house” so to speak and will be doing some significant advertising and marketing, but also wanted to invite each of you to join them on the 7th to celebrate the official birth of this new church. Unfortunately, I will be preaching, but you should go! Support Ron and Anna and their entire launch team as they begin this new journey together.
We held our Personal Care Pantry on Monday night and once again had a great evening of caring for and supporting people in our community. Prayers were offered. Personal items shared. Relationships built. Thank you to all who served. If you want to get involved in the Care Pantry please contact Luke Austin.
We support a couple of ministries engaged in church planting in Nepal. Currently, it is illegal to evangelize in the country and yet multiple church planters are courageously going into villages and towns to tell of the hope they have found in Christ. In the next several weeks, two different groups of leaders will be traveling from the US to Nepal to support, train, and encourage these planters. Please be in prayer for both of these groups.
Administrative Details
We give our first time visitors a new 30oz Zion travel mug and a free beverage at Biggby. But, you can get your very own Zion travel mug, too. We will be selling the mugs for $20 and you can buy as many as you want. They come in two colors, silver and gunmetal and both have a cool looking Zion logo. Cups will be available for purchase in the lobby following worship. (If you don’t want to buy one on a Sunday, they will also be available from the office during the week.)
We continue to thank God for his provision of all of our needs and for the generous support of our congregation with their time, talent, and treasures.
Fiscal Year to date budget: $184,878.40
Fiscal Year to date contributions: $171,642.31
